Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness and to celebrate one
of the most wonderful occasions in life, commemorating what is, according to
their own testimonies, the second most
important decision, the second most important commitment of Patrick’s and Elisabeth’s lives.
Why the second most important?
Well, we’ll get to that in just a few moments, but I would like to share
just a couple of brief paragraphs from the inspired Word of God in which He
shares His design for and His thoughts concerning this holy union between a man
and a woman that we call “marriage.”
Ephesians 5:22-33
Marriage Like Christ and the
Church
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head
of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject
to Christ, so also the wives ought to
be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the
washing of water with the word, 27
that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or
wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to
love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves
himself; 29 for no
one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
also does the church, 30 because we are members of His
body. 31 FOR THIS
REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE,
AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with
reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love
his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
In just a few short sentences, the apostle Paul paints one of the
most profound pictures of marriage and its purpose that can found anywhere, in
any book, movie or any other media.
Listen to what Paul says as he quotes Genesis 2:24 in describing this
holy union: For this reason, a man shall
leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh. You see, as
God indicated almost as far back as the beginning of time, and as Paul
understood so very well, the relationship shared between a married man and
woman is so close, so intimate, that the two of them can no longer be
considered as individuals, but instead become part of a greater whole. Paul then follows his quote with a startling
declaration concerning this very special relationship: This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ
and the church. You see,
marriage is a gift to us in many ways and on many levels, but perhaps the single
greatest gift this beautiful relationship gives us is a picture of God Himself,
and of the closeness He desires with His children. Paul uses the word mystery here to
describe an idea that was only partially revealed to the prophets Old
Testament, but that found its fulfillment in the life, death, and resurrection
of Christ.
God referred to His chosen people as His bride multiple times
throughout the Old Testament, but it was not until the resurrection and ascension
of Christ that the full scope of this mystery became clear. In John 14, 15, and 16 Christ comforted His
disciples with the promise that if He left them, He would send the comforter to
be with them – a promise that was realized with the gift of the Holy Spirit
that dwells in each and every believer.
So, the mystery is that marriage and the intimacy within
marriage are a physical picture of the spiritual intimacy that God desires with
us, and that is available to each of us,
if we would only place our faith in His Son as our lord and savior.
Let us pray.
Our Heavenly Father, we thank You for
creating this day and setting it aside for Patrick and for Elisabeth. Lord, I thank You for the gift of a beautiful
daughter and for the 21 wonderful years in which You entrusted her to her
mother and me to care for her and to nurture her and to enjoy her company. I thank you most of all for calling her to
yourself and for the assurance that we have of spending eternity with her in
Your Kingdom.
I thank you Lord for Patrick; for bringing
him into Elisabeth’s life in the nick of time – in Your perfect time,
just as she was beginning to despair of finding a righteous man with whom she
might share her life. I thank you Lord
for Patrick’s openness and humility, for his devotion to You and Your Ways, and
for his caring, gentle, and nurturing spirit.
Lord I thank you for the gift of marriage and
for how much it reveals to us of Your loving nature. I pray that you would bless Patrick and
Elisabeth as they stand before You today, that you would stand in their midst
today and for all time, and that you would grow and strengthen their faith and
their marriage until it shines like a blazing beacon proclaiming the truth and
hope of Your Gospel.
Bless us this day and forgive us our sins.
In Christ’s precious name, Amen.
As Paul describes the mystery
that is marriage, it becomes apparent that, just as Christ and the believers
that make up His bride - His church - each have their own roles, a husband and
a wife each have their own roles within marriage.
Elisabeth: as the wife of
Patrick, you are not only Patrick’s companion and helper; you represent the
glorious body of believers that Christ Himself died to rescue from the bonds to
and the penalty for sin. And just as all
in the church are called to subordinate their own will and desires in obedience
to the will and commandments of Christ, you are called to set aside your own
pride and desires and to live in submission to your husband. Now I know that words like “obedience” and
“submission” have almost become four-letter words in our individualist society,
but they are qualities that God holds in very high esteem, as His word plainly
indicates to us. Listen to the picture
God’s Word paints of the gentile woman, Ruth, who is held up in Scripture as
the ideal wife of Proverbs 31:
Ruth 3:7-9
7 … when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went
to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Then [Ruth] came softly and
uncovered his feet and lay down. 8 At midnight the man was
startled and turned over, and behold, a woman lay at his feet! 9 He
said, "Who are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth, your servant.
Spread your wings over your servant, for you are a redeemer."
In placing her life and fate in
the hands of Boaz and pledging to be a servant wife to him, Ruth echoed Boaz’s
own words back to him. You see, just
weeks before, Boaz, impressed by the humble and caring spirit, and by the faith
of a gentile woman, had offered a prayer over Ruth, that she might be
blessed by the one true God, under whose wing she had come for
shelter. God, in His turn, arranged for
Boaz himself to become the instrument of that blessing. And just as Ruth trusted completely in God
and in the man who would become her husband, you are called to trust in Patrick
as your husband, to place yourself in his hands under God and to rely on his
care for you to meet your needs within marriage.
Patrick: in this day and age, it
can be very difficult for a woman to subordinate her own will to that of her
husband, but you can be the one to take that burden from your wife and turn it
instead into joy. As Elisabeth’s
husband, you are not only her provider and the head of her household; you are a
living representation of Christ, and of His love for His sheep. You are called, not to lord it over your wife
and household as many in our generation tend to do, but to love your wife
unselfishly as Christ loved us; seeking not to humiliate or degrade us, but to
care for us, protect us and glorify us in the eyes of all the world. Christ Himself tells us that his yoke is easy
and His burden light. Today, humility
and unselfishness are not considered to be concepts that “sell,” but they are
character traits that are so valuable to God that He modeled them for us
Himself in the person of His Son:
Philippians 2:4-8
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for
the interests of others. 5
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in
the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking
the form of a bond-servant, and
being made in the likeness of men. 8
Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to
the point of death, even death on a cross.
Patrick, there is an old saying: “Happy wife – happy life.” If you would have a wife who can be truly
joyful at the prospect of submission to you as her husband, you are called to
love my daughter with the love that Christ has for His church, placing her
needs before your own and even before your very life, ruling your household
with gentleness and humility.
Both of you: Here we finally come to the reason that this
day is the second most important day in your lives, and the vows you are
about to take are the second most important promise you have made or
ever will make in this life. Listen to
the words of Solomon as he instructs us on the importance of companionship in
this life:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their
labor. 10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his
companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him
up. 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how
can one be warm alone? 12
And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three
strands is not quickly torn
apart.
Interestingly, Solomon repeatedly uses the number “two” to
describe the importance of human relationships:
Two are better than one.
If two lie down… Two can resist… Then he suddenly says a
strange thing: A cord of three
strands is not quickly broken. Three. In engineering, when we want to make
something strong, we make it out of what?
Out of triangles. Three. You see, the writer of Ecclesiastes
understood that the strongest of all two-person relationships are really three-person
relationships. The center strand of
Solomon’s cord is the Lord. The apex of
the triangle is the Lord. The third
person who is really the first person in the strongest of two-person
relationships is the Lord. And the most
important decision you have ever made or ever will make is to put your faith in and trust Christ as Lord. This may
sound counter-intuitive, but the more of yourselves that you give to the Lord,
the more of you is left over to give to each other.
And so lastly, and most importantly, Patrick and Elisabeth, I call
you and God calls you to love Him first, to keep Him in first place, and to
make Him the highest priority in your lives.
God first; each other second; yourselves last.
Do you, Patrick, pledge to live by these things that I have spoken
to you, to love Elisabeth sacrificially and to care for her as God has
instructed you, and to love God first as His Word has commanded you?
And do you, Elisabeth, pledge to live by these things I have
spoken to you, to love and obey Patrick as God has instructed you, and to love
God first, as His Word has commanded you?
Then each of you repeat after me:
I, Patrick, take thee, Elisabeth, to be
my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for
worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto
I pledge thee myself to you.
I, Elisabeth, take thee, Patrick, to be
my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for
worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto
I pledge thee myself to you.
Patrick and Elisabeth, the rings you exchange on this day
symbolize the eternal love that each of you enjoy as Children of your Heavenly
Father and the life-long commitment that you make to each other this day.
Patrick: place Elisabeth’s ring on her finger and repeat after me:
With this ring I thee wed and with it I bestow the treasures of my
mind, heart and hands. May this ring forever be to you the symbol of my growing
love, and may it serve as a constant reminder that I choose you, Elisabeth
above all others, to be my wife, until death do us part.
Elisabeth: place Patrick’s ring on his finger and repeat after me:
With this ring I thee wed and with it I bestow the treasures of my
mind, heart and hands. May this ring forever be to you the symbol of my growing
love, and may it serve as a constant reminder that I choose you, Patrick above
all others, to be my husband, until death do us part.
Patrick and Elisabeth: By
the power vested in me by the State and under God, I now
pronounce you man and wife. What God has
joined, let no man put asunder. Patrick,
you may kiss the bride J
In one of the last intimate moments Christ shared with His
disciples before going to the cross, Jesus got up from the supper table,
wrapped a towel around His own waist and began washing His disciples’ feet. When He had done so, Christ instructed His
disciples that they should do the same for each other. In token of their unselfish affection for one
another, and of their intent to live in service to Christ and to each other,
Patrick and Elisabeth would like to begin their marriage by ceremonially
washing each other’s feet.
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